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Of judging people, I've already kinda ranted about my friends and family not being supportive of my MH habit, but does anyone notice any sexism while being judged?

Like, my female friends are the ones who lecture me about "wasting" my money, but my male friends don't seem to care, and I've convinced two of the guys to go hunting with me.

Also, the female employees, well 3 different ones, at TRU kinda laugh at me when I say the dolls are for me or ask when another truck will be coming in, but the male employees, again 3 different guys, are more willing to check the back for me or tip me off about trucks coming in. I'm just wondering if this happens to anyone else, or if I'm the sexist, judgemental one.

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That don't happen to me. That's strange.
From friends or employees of stores? Because I think the employee one might be because I'm young and attractive (not bragging or anything, just in general), and most of the guys are around my age.

But the women definitely laugh at me. And my friends could just be mean.
When i go to Toy World ( not sure if US has it, its in Aus) the lady who works there who's about 40ish always tells me how much she loves monster high lol! Maybe your friends just think dolls are for kids, which is not true. Im an adult collector with two young children and neither of them are allowed to touch my dolls =P
That could be. But maybe just like everytkme you go to TRU see who is more helpful. Try that.

Essence Beasley said:
From friends or employees of stores? Because I think the employee one might be because I'm young and attractive (not bragging or anything, just in general), and most of the guys are around my age.

But the women definitely laugh at me. And my friends could just be mean.

Too be honest, I have not noticed this on the subject of me collecting toys or any other habits personally, but I think you are right about women in general being the more judgemental ones.

I have noticed this in other aspects of my life, that female friends judge alot faster and alot harsher and always have their opinions ready to spray on me, even if I don't request it.

Also, I work in a store that specializes in toys and toy collectibles, and most customers we have are adults, mostly male, and I have heard alot of story's from them about being judged for it, and most of those 'judges' are female.

For instance, the female collectors usually come in with a supportive male partner or male friend, and in alot of those cases, the male partner eventually gets the collecting fever as well, or they just wanna join in on her fun.

Most male collectors coming in, usually bring a male friend or male partner, who are also supportive.

Most of the male collectors have a non supportive female partner, and I've heard of quite some scenario's where the male collector even ends the collection and has to sell it because the wife/girlfriend demands it. In some cases, these collectors come back a few years later, after the divorce or break up, and start collecting again.

On a side note, in the few cases male collectors bring a supportive female, this is usually their mother. And I'm not talking about kids, I'm referring too adult collectors who come in with their mom (whom they usually still live with) and the mom is really cool about it.

There is this one customer who always brings his mother and together they make the choices of what collectible he brings home, and sometimes when its a tie between two very cool figures or statues, the mom offers to buy him one of them so he can buy the other. Very cool!

I am female myself and have been collecting quite alot of 'toys' over time, and I don't wanna make the impression of being a sexist either, but this is indeed my observation too.

I don't really know why females judge this alot more and have been wondering about the reason behind it, but I can't really think of any.

/puts on sociology hat/ It has a lot to with internalized misogyny and gender roles.

Adult women aren't supposed to be "childish" and into toys, but men are given a pass because they're allowed to act immature in the confines of our prescribed gender roles (i.e. see how often video games are marketed to adult men but no toy is marketed to adult women). Because this has been ingrained in many women- by their parents, peers and media- they have been taught to judge.

Men, on the other hand, don't judge as harshly because we're not in "social competition" with them, and many already infantilize without realizing. There's no need for them to judge women- speaking on the basis of wanting a doll- because there's not prescribed pecking order among them and us- men are already on top socially so they don't have to "fight" so to speak. If it was a dude looking for a doll for himself I can almost guarantee the men folk would start judging.

BUT this is if you subscribe to popular sociology with the privilege/power complex. Speaking from experience none of my friends judge me negatively for collecting toys, regardless of their gender.

Mighoula Scaremeyer said:

I don't really know why females judge this alot more and have been wondering about the reason behind it, but I can't really think of any.

I haven't noticed really, i've had an equal number of male and female staff giving me odd looks or being really helpful. most of the guys find it cute that I collect dolls, the women always remark "oh my daughter likes these" or whatever hahaha.

My friends are all male and wouldn't dare criticise my collections, they collect their own "junk" so it'd be hypocritical.

But perhaps it stems from the fact that males are for some reason more prone toward collecting things. Males love collecting, females seem to kinda grow out of it or start pretending their grown up and practical by spending their money on things like makeup and clothes. Women collect shoes and handbags (stereotypes yay) and insist it's not a collection, men collect fun things and freely admit they collect them.

The only sexism i've noticed relating to doll collecting is the attitude of "you can't like dolls, you're a BOY!"

This annoys me. Why the hell can't a guy like dolls? What is it about a doll that makes it omg exclusively female? It's cool for a girl to play with a stereotypical "boy" toy but heaven forbid a guy want to indulge his feminine side?

Bah. Also, I object to this whole "boy toy/girl toy" thing anyway. They're all bloody toys and kids will play with anything. My two boys? they couldn't care less about the gender association or whether it's pink, they'll play with it anyway. Both my sons have dolls and they love them. It wasn't till the eldest started to go to preschool that he began to tell me "That's too girly!"

I was so upset.

My point is, i've only ever encountered "He can't have a doll, he's a boy!" attitudes, and being female myself, I seem to be free to do whatever the hell I want and buy whatever I please without criticism. Apparently it's adorable for a woman to enjoy children's toys or something. TBH I think most people just assume i'm buying toys for my kids.

Mighoula> You have a good point. All the roleplayers I knew often had really unsupportive wives. I always thought "man, why are you with that cow when she hates so much something you love?"

It's like, a guy goes into a relationship expecting it to stay the same. A woman goes in expecting to make some changes.

That is a very good explanation!

Indeed, when a woman has reached a certain age where she is expected to be an adult, the social expectations are different for a woman then they are for men, leaving no room for 'childish' behavior or 'childish' things.

I must say, you always come with good social insights on various topics.

Always a joy to read because I'm very interested in sociology :)


Ninapedia said:

/puts on sociology hat/ It has a lot to with internalized misogyny and gender roles.

Adult women aren't supposed to be "childish" and into toys, but men are given a pass because they're allowed to act immature in the confines of our prescribed gender roles (i.e. see how often video games are marketed to adult men but no toy is marketed to adult women). Because this has been ingrained in many women- by their parents, peers and media- they have been taught to judge.

Men, on the other hand, don't judge as harshly because we're not in "social competition" with them, and many already infantilize without realizing. There's no need for them to judge women- speaking on the basis of wanting a doll- because there's not prescribed pecking order among them and us- men are already on top socially so they don't have to "fight" so to speak. If it was a dude looking for a doll for himself I can almost guarantee the men folk would start judging.

BUT this is if you subscribe to popular sociology with the privilege/power complex. Speaking from experience none of my friends judge me negatively for collecting toys, regardless of their gender.

Mighoula Scaremeyer said:

I don't really know why females judge this alot more and have been wondering about the reason behind it, but I can't really think of any.

That boy toy / girl toy really annoys me too.

When I was a young child, I played with a lot of toys aimed at boys and never did anyone judge me for that.

But the other way around, well, that just seems like a no go for people in general.

My sister and I shared a room when we where younger, and we had a very girly room, with lots of pink and Barbie wall paper and stuff like that. When we moved out, the couple who moved in had a son of our age (8 years) who loved our room and wanted it to stay that way, but the parents didn't accept it and made it a typical boys room instead.

I felt really sorry for that boy back then.

On a happier note, in some stores around my area the MH dolls and stuff are labeled with stickers that say 'toys for girls and boys', so I hope that is a move in the right direction and more stores and toylines will follow!

purple_monkfish said:

I haven't noticed really, i've had an equal number of male and female staff giving me odd looks or being really helpful. most of the guys find it cute that I collect dolls, the women always remark "oh my daughter likes these" or whatever hahaha.

My friends are all male and wouldn't dare criticise my collections, they collect their own "junk" so it'd be hypocritical.

But perhaps it stems from the fact that males are for some reason more prone toward collecting things. Males love collecting, females seem to kinda grow out of it or start pretending their grown up and practical by spending their money on things like makeup and clothes. Women collect shoes and handbags (stereotypes yay) and insist it's not a collection, men collect fun things and freely admit they collect them.

The only sexism i've noticed relating to doll collecting is the attitude of "you can't like dolls, you're a BOY!"

This annoys me. Why the hell can't a guy like dolls? What is it about a doll that makes it omg exclusively female? It's cool for a girl to play with a stereotypical "boy" toy but heaven forbid a guy want to indulge his feminine side?

Bah. Also, I object to this whole "boy toy/girl toy" thing anyway. They're all bloody toys and kids will play with anything. My two boys? they couldn't care less about the gender association or whether it's pink, they'll play with it anyway. Both my sons have dolls and they love them. It wasn't till the eldest started to go to preschool that he began to tell me "That's too girly!"

I was so upset.

My point is, i've only ever encountered "He can't have a doll, he's a boy!" attitudes, and being female myself, I seem to be free to do whatever the hell I want and buy whatever I please without criticism. Apparently it's adorable for a woman to enjoy children's toys or something. TBH I think most people just assume i'm buying toys for my kids.

Mighoula> You have a good point. All the roleplayers I knew often had really unsupportive wives. I always thought "man, why are you with that cow when she hates so much something you love?"

It's like, a guy goes into a relationship expecting it to stay the same. A woman goes in expecting to make some changes.

Glad someone is reading my social insights. I'm happy to offer them C:

Mighoula Scaremeyer said:

That is a very good explanation!

Indeed, when a woman has reached a certain age where she is expected to be an adult, the social expectations are different for a woman then they are for men, leaving no room for 'childish' behavior or 'childish' things.

I must say, you always come with good social insights on various topics.

Always a joy to read because I'm very interested in sociology :)


Ninapedia said:

/puts on sociology hat/ It has a lot to with internalized misogyny and gender roles.

Adult women aren't supposed to be "childish" and into toys, but men are given a pass because they're allowed to act immature in the confines of our prescribed gender roles (i.e. see how often video games are marketed to adult men but no toy is marketed to adult women). Because this has been ingrained in many women- by their parents, peers and media- they have been taught to judge.

Men, on the other hand, don't judge as harshly because we're not in "social competition" with them, and many already infantilize without realizing. There's no need for them to judge women- speaking on the basis of wanting a doll- because there's not prescribed pecking order among them and us- men are already on top socially so they don't have to "fight" so to speak. If it was a dude looking for a doll for himself I can almost guarantee the men folk would start judging.

BUT this is if you subscribe to popular sociology with the privilege/power complex. Speaking from experience none of my friends judge me negatively for collecting toys, regardless of their gender.

Mighoula Scaremeyer said:

I don't really know why females judge this alot more and have been wondering about the reason behind it, but I can't really think of any.

Well all my friends, male and female, end up loving the doll but think I'm obsessed with them. But they don't say "you are wasting your money" or have like  bad reactions to my HM collection, they even think it's kinda cool I collect them. People at sotres give me funny looks when I go looking or asking for the dolls but they've never been mean or rude to me.

I do not think you are the judgemental, maybe you just have bad luck with those ladies :)

x

All the employees at TRU are really helpful and kind. I'm on a first name basis with two of them, one is a girl and the other is a boy. So, this doesn't really happen with me, not yet at least. lol

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