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Seeking Advice about how to re-connect with an old friend....who has always been in trouble with the law....


Over ten years ago, an acquaintance of the family had temporarily taken in a troubled young African-American woman who was about seven years younger than I was, and she encouraged the two of us to hang out.

We became good friends, giving each other advice, and swapping jokes and stories, and just generally having fun communicating back and forth with each other.

The only issue was this young woman's past....which I found out more about around the time that our friendship was forced to end. This young woman had been born addicted to drugs, so that her mind never worked without medication, and whenever she went off of her meds, she got into trouble with the law, by becoming violent and unpredictable, but whenever she was with me, she was always kind and logical.

I was shocked when her super religious caregiver (the acquaintance) wouldn't even let her go to a movie with me ("American Girl" movie....How much more innocent could it GET?)

Then, the worst happened! My friend snapped, attacking her caregiver, and so my family insisted that, for my safety, I ignore my friend's calls! I accused my family of being racist, and I felt as though I was killing my friend by ignoring her.

She finally stopped calling, and, in trouble with the law, and a fugitive, she came to her former caretaker, begging to go back to jail, where at least she'd have food and shelter.

This poor young woman should never have been put into this an all-White neighborhood, with someone who didn't understand her. I know that she belonged in a very secure, humane hospital with people who cared about her welfare, but that's not what ultimately happened, and I've felt guilty for over a decade. I couldn't even get through watching "The Princess and the Frog" without crying and feeling guilty for having to abandon the best friend that I've ever had (That's no exaggeration. I've literally never known any other close female friend to keep up with me as well as she did, nor as unconditionally.

I live with my family, and they keep telling me that if I ever find out which jail this woman is in, I'll HAVE to give out our address if I want to contact her. I know that my family is scared to heck about what will happen if she gets out of jail....with our home address or P.O. box address, but I still keep feeling badly about having to give up on a friendship that I never wanted to give up on.

This unfortunate woman never did drugs; she only took the drugs that were prescribed to her....and she had her son taken from her, she got shuffled from one foster family to the next, she was homeless, and then....she lost her friendship with me....because her caretaker and my family decided that that's what was best....after they had encouraged the friendship to begin with. :(

I know that this is not an easy situation to solve, with regard to communication, but....any suggestions? I can only think to pray for her safety and wellness these days.

The Whispering Wolf / Wolfie

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Hi Wolfie,

I'm sorry you haven't had any responses to this yet.

I think it's worth getting in touch with this young lady again purely for the enjoyment you each got from the other's company.  She seems to be able to interact with others perfectly well and sounds like a lovely person. :)  I'm sure she would appreciate the support from you as well.


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